Who used it last?
by 0lizzybennet0
Summary: The team run into car troubles...if the SUV broke down?


**I'm venturing into the Torchwood fics after becoming an avid fan...4 days ago and using all the download on YouTube episodes.**

**This is just meant to be a silly 'what if?', inspired by the fact that I now have my L's!! ...all other drivers beware...**

**One thing, what is an SUV? That car's a 4WD...is that the same thing? Google is being decidedly unhelpful, to me the big black car is a 4WD.**

'Let's go! Let's go!' Jack herded the team into the 4WD before hurling himself into the drivers seat. He twisted the key hurriedly and slammed his foot on the accelerator.

The car spluttered noisily and the engine died.

There was a silence in the back seat. Jack frowned and started the car again. There was an unhealthy whine and then silence.

'Jack?' Gwen leant forward from the back with a slight edge to her voice.

Jack drew his eyebrows together in concentration and twisted the key with forced patience. There was no sound. He jerked the key with slightly more force. With a curse he slammed his palm onto the dashboard.

'Someone's sabotaged our car,' Jack turned to face the team with a serious expression. The group exchanged uneasy glances with each other before cautiously glancing around the car, eyes expecting hidden wires and explosives.

'I'm picking up no trace of explosives,' Tosh frowned down at her laptop and attachments, her fingers tapping at the keyboard rapidly.

'If they were that new sort then-'

'Then why are we still sat in the car?'

'No, no explosives, bugged?'

'Check the wheels?'

'Maybe brakes too?'

'Nothing on the engine...'

'Hm,' Ianto coughed diffidently from the passenger seat and pointed at the dashboard. 'That's because we're out of petrol.'

Everybody went silent. Ianto looked at Jack and mouthed a silent defensive 'what?'.

'Ok, who used the car last?' Jack said with forced calm, a dangerous edge in his voice.

'Owen,' Gwen and Tosh said immediately.

'No! Look-' Owen protested immediately, hands held up placatingly.

'How many times do I have to say it?' Jack sighed in exasperation, 'the 4WD.must.have.petrol!'

'It's not _my_ fault!' Owen looked around appealingly, when no support was forthcoming he rounded on Jack, 'well what about that time with a certain captain, an abandoned airfield and something about burnouts?'

'Ah!' Jack held up a hand with a saintly expression, 'but _I _filled the car up after it.'

'Oh_!_' Gwen glared at Jack, 'so _that's_ why we had to order the new tyres!'

'Um,' Ianto put his hand up quietly, silence fell over the squabbling group, 'not to put a damper on anything, but there's still a prehistoric dinosaur out there...'

The group froze.

'SHIT!' Everyone leapt out of the car and pelted down the road.

'Taxi! Taxi!' Gwen screeched and darted between the crowds, pushing a man away from the taxi door.

'Excus-' the man protested as several more figures pushed past him.

'Excuse you,' Jack halted sharply in front of the man, eyeing him up with a grin.

'In,' Ianto reached out a hand from inside the taxi and yanked Jack inside. Jack blew a kiss at the man as he disappeared through the door.

'This is cozy,' Jack grinned around at the group, settling himself down on Ianto's lap. The team were squashed tightly into the back of the taxi, Owen wincing repeatedly as his head smacked against the low ceiling. Tosh blushed furiously as she extracted her hand from where it was pinned under Owen's leg.

'Frisky,' Jack commented lightly.

Tosh muttered inaudibly as the car screeched around a corner, the group simultaneously crying out in pain as they were flung against the left window. There was a slap as their cheeks hit the glass and Ianto groaned under the added weight of Tosh and Owen. With another screech of tires, the taxi swung violently to the other side. This time Owen was yelling in protest as the others piled onto him.

'Why do I get the feeling I've done something like this before?' Jack mused thoughtfully from where he was lying across Ianto's shoulder and Tosh's leg.

'Sir,' Ianto winced as he brushed Owen's hand off his head, 'we really-' he pushed Tosh's leg off, 'don't-' he wriggled out from under Jack, '-want to know.'

'Shame,' Jack said lightly, draping an arm over Ianto's shoulder and stretching his legs easily across everyone's laps.

'Sir, that definitely counts as harassment,' Ianto lifted up Jack's wandering hand and deposited it firmly back on it's owner's lap.'

'Look,' Gwen turned around from her single seat in the front and glared at the group, 'will you lot jus-' she yelped as the car shot ahead.

'Come to join the fun?' Jack raised an eyebrow as Gwen was flung headfirst into the backseat.

'Ow!' Owen yelled as Gwen headbutted him.

'Sir! Keep you hands to your-'

'That's my arm!'

'Well THAT'S certainly not my arm-'

'Oh _please_ you lot!'

'That's harassment, Sir!'

'My head!'

'Ow!'

'We're here,' the driver turned around with a frazzled expression, swallowing forcefully and blinking away from the scene that greeted him in the back.

'Right!' There was a struggle as everyone pushed for the doors. 'Dinosaur!'

TWTWTWTW

'You're not going to believe my day,' a taxi driver plopped himself down heavily into the bar stool, hand outstretched for a drink.

'That bad?' The bar tender said sympathetically.

'Orgies in the back of my taxi?' The driver downed the glass in one go.


End file.
